I’m an introvert, and I was shy as a child. I had a hard childhood because of that. Here is what I learned from that
I had a pleasant childhood in the countryside. My family loved and still loves me. We have a strong bond.
The hard thing was the people and the society of a town with 3000 inhabitants.
I’m an introvert. And I was shy. I was a quiet child, and I’m still a quiet adult.
I didn’t speak much at school. But with my close friends and my family, I could be myself and I could say what I wanted to say.
I was really good at school and it was easy for me to study and understand everything. I was bored a lot. But some teachers gave me a grade less because I didn’t speak up and participate in the lecture. But I can say I was and still am a great listener.
“Most people who have grown up introverted in this very extroverted culture of ours have had painful experiences of feeling like they are out of step with what’s expected of them.”
— Susan Cain
The school system is for extroverts
The school system and the teachers reward extroverts. They get good grades because they talk in class and participate. There are group projects to prepare presentations and posters.
The ones that are actually listening in classes, understanding immediately, and writing good grades on exams are the introverts and they get punished for not talking in class, or not speaking so much at a presentation.
The quiet work and the work behind a presentation should be as appreciated as the presentation and talking itself.
Getting a grade worse every year because I don’t speak up in class, made me think I’m wrong. I did everything right: I listen, study, and get good grades on exams, but I get punished for being an introvert.
My self-confidence was low, I thought I’m weird and I will not get successful. I wanted to achieve something in life and be successful, but people always told me that I’m too quiet to be the best.
In the last few years, I figured out that being an introvert is actually a good thing and my strength. I’m a good listener and observer. I’m an empath and I can feel with people.
And those strengths make me a great leader at my student organization. I would have never thought that I could lead a group and do presentations without being nervous.
Do The Thing You Are Afraid Of Repeatedly
I never liked to do presentations as a kid or a teenager. Who really likes those book presentations at school?
Now I feel that people love me for who I am, instead of being judged for it.
“Positive feelings come from being honest about yourself and accepting your personality, and physical characteristics, warts and all; and, from belonging to a family that accepts you without question.”
— Willard Scott
Learnings
As a child, you believe everything adults tell you. Good or bad things. I heard that I’m weird because I’m quiet. I was less successful at school because of it. They judged me.
The school system doesn’t reward extraordinary people, it doesn’t reward your strengths.
You always get punished for your weaknesses. For your mistakes. There is never a “Good job” for improving, but the teachers always search for mistakes and mark them.
It’s from the industrial age when the government and the industry needed everyone to be the same and to work the same job at the factory to produce as much as possible. You are not allowed to change something, to be yourself, or be different.
They want a hard-working adult, which does what the leader says.
But times changed and successful people who are thriving are also introverts. Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, or Warren Buffett. Their strength is to be introverted: analyzing, reading, and calmly making good decisions.
They don’t need to be loud, they are just successful and their work shows it.
“Don’t underestimate me because I’m quiet. I know more than I say, think more than I speak, and observe more than you know.”
— Michaela Chung
If you are an introvert yourself: work on yourself, and get better, and more confident every day. Do things that you are afraid of.
Find the people you want to spend your time with. Find something you are passionate about and you will see that you are not shy anymore.
Don’t care what you heard at school or from other people when you were a child. Figure out your goals and thrive and be successful for you.
I’m observing, and I have empathy and you have to be confident to JUST BE YOU.
Stop giving a shit about what other people think.
Be yourself and continue to thrive!
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