30 Lessons Learned
It was my 30th birthday last month, and I’m reviewing this past century full of memories, lessons, and experiences.
And I want to share with you my 30 lessons:
You are never too old or too young to change
I had a quarter-life crisis when I was 22 and was working at my first full-time job. I couldn’t find the purpose in this job and it made me miserable that I could live like this until I was 65.
So I struggled, and I thought I was too old to change my profession (yes, at 22!) and start studying again.
It took months of thinking through all the possibilities and making up my mind. It was necessary to change.
The farewell card I got from colleagues back then sums it up:
in English: “Should. Could. Would. DID!”
Invest in myself and in my future earlier
Time is the key to increasing the value of investments, so I would have loved to start sooner. Not just investing in my future by buying some ETFs or shares, but also investing in myself. (no investing advice, it’s different for everyone)
I know I invested in my studies, but it would have been great to invest in my skills by buying books, online courses,…
Less consumption and more investing
I’m not big on consuming, but I did buy a lot of clothes in the first months of my first full-time job. The money I put into clothes, bags, technology, and games would have been worth more elsewhere.
Maybe I would have preferred to put it into some traveling (a point that is coming later).
Work on self-worth and confidence more
I just started working on it, and I wish I started 10 years ago. I always knew I had little self-confidence, and I blamed the mobbing and my introversion for it. Maybe I didn’t have hope for change.
It’s necessary to work on myself and my own perceived value. You will make better decisions for yourself:
- you will not allow people to treat you badly anymore
- you will ask for the income you deserve at your job
- you will stand up for your worth
Take more risks and take a chance
A lot of times, I was too afraid to take a chance. Like writing online: I started in 2017 a bit but quit.
I took a chance by changing my profession at 22 and that was the best decision of my life, so I know it’s worth it to take more risks.
I don’t mean doing dangerous or life-threatening things.
I mean overcoming the fear of some uncertainty that isn’t life-threatening, like posting online, taking a totally different course, talking to that stranger you find attractive, working on your dream…
I took a risk and started posting my stuff on Instagram last year, and I was so afraid of being judged. Maybe I am being judged, but people don’t tell it to my face. They just unfollowed.
So what actually happened: Nothing! I only got positive feedback.
Start a morning routine
I always struggled with mornings. I was either super lazy and stayed in bed for hours after I woke up, or I was stressed to get ready for school or work.
Either way is not ideal for a great start to the day.
It’s a great feeling to be ready for work, and you already have time for self-care and to do something just for yourself. And I love the quiet time before everyone else wakes up (you don’t have to wake up at 5 am for that).
Listen to your body: staying up late was never good
All the young people like to stay up late to party, drink, watch TV, or play games. I was one of them.
People in their 20s should take the time to party and have fun (however you like to party).
But I should have listened to my body earlier. Staying up late, not eating much after 9 p.m., and then drinking alcohol was not good for my stomach.
I always had stomach aches when I stayed up late and didn’t listen. I’m also stubborn, and if I said I’m gonna work or be there, then I was there, even though I was sick.
So one of the first summer jobs gave me gastritis, and it still bothers me from time to time when my stomach is mad at me.
This also goes with the next point:
Partying was fun, but that much alcohol wasn’t necessary
Alcohol is poison for our bodies. That’s a fact. That’s the reason why we get drunk, have blurry vision, or puke.
It’s the body’s reaction to poison.
I was not an excessive drinker, but combined with peer pressure, it happened sometimes that I was really drunk.
I don’t regret having fun and testing out my limits, but spending my time puking is not my favorite.
I’m glad I didn’t do anything worse, but I want you to be aware and don’t do something because of peer pressure.
Make decisions faster and let go of people and things faster
It took me months to decide to change professions during my quarter-life crisis because it was against everything society told me to do.
Society told me to study and have a well-paying job. I had that, and I was unhappy. After that, the man, marriage, and kids would have been the next steps.
My belief system was based on that norm. So starting to study again at 22 was a horror scenario.
Just like I waited to let go of one of my boyfriends for months even though there were no feelings left and it was just plain living next to each other.
The 20s is a time in which a lot happens fast, and you think you already need to have everything figured out. You don’t!
There is no linear way to live life. By accepting that, you can make decisions faster if something doesn’t work for you.
You can try out more stuff by letting go faster!
Don’t be afraid to be alone
One of the reasons it took me months to let go of my boyfriend back then was because I was afraid of being alone.
I thought I would be alone in this city I just moved to. But in the end, I lived in a flat with my sister and 2 more people, and I met new people at university.
I was not alone.
Of course, being single for a few years felt lonely, but it was the best time for me to improve myself.
Volunteering was the best decision
One of the best decisions of my 20s was starting to volunteer at a student organization that organizes internships abroad (IAESTE).
I would have never been able to grow and learn so much just by studying. Organizing a career fair and being the president for 2 years helped me grow and improve my self-confidence a lot.
Before that, I thought I was too introverted to lead a team and to be the head of general assemblies.
But it’s not just about improving my skills, it’s about meeting new people, networking, experiencing new cultures (we are a big international organization), and finding friends.
I met people from all over the world and studied fields, which gave me a bigger perspective. It expanded my horizons.
Giving something voluntarily back to people is one of the best ways to get more happiness in life.
If you study: do a part-time job for money and experience
I recommend that every student do a part-time job. It doesn’t need to be in your field of expertise, but it’s about gaining work experience and some more independence (I will talk about that in the next point).
You will face challenges, work on your solution-finding skills, and get some more money you can invest in yourself.
I know people think it’s a privilege if you don’t have to work next to your studies because “I can afford it”. But you actually can’t. Gaining experience outside your theoretical studies is a big bonus point for future employers and for your own improvement.
I’ve seen it a few times with my friends and siblings: students who don’t work are actually lazy and are wasting their time. Students who work are more ambitious, learn time management skills, and get better grades.
Get your independence from your parents fast
They can still help but you grow faster if you do it on your own.
The faster you get out of the safety net and take risks, the earlier you grow and learn.
- how to cook and clean
- how to take care of your finances
- how to find an apartment
Of course, I want you to accept their help and knowledge.
My parents helped me with my 3 moves, and I still call my mom to ask for advice on my plants.
Even though I say you should be independent, that doesn’t mean you should take them for granted.
They are getting older. Find time to spend with them!
Take opportunities you are afraid of to get over it
Take advantage of the opportunities life gives you!
Your brain doesn’t like uncertainty so it will give you a lot of excuses and doubts to keep you from doing it.
But do it anyway!
I didn’t like to present in front of people. I was afraid of it.
I did everything to push it away.
But as soon as I accepted the fact that I would always need to present I got better with every opportunity.
And now I can envision myself giving speeches at conferences, which I would have never thought possible.
Learn to present
I already told you about my fear of speaking in front of people.
Just take the chances to learn to present.
You will need a lot in life:
- presenting your project at work
- presenting your skills at an interview
- ask for a raise
It’s an important life skill.
Learn to write
This is another life skill. Everything is based on writing:
- emails
- social media
- videos
- communication
- presentations
- applications
- technology
And everyone can learn it. Even though your teachers didn’t say so.
Languages were not my favorite and best subjects at school, so I thought I’m just not good writing and expressing myself.
And now see what I’m doing: writing online and making money with it.
Learn to manage your time
This is one of the most important skills I learned in my 20s and I wish I would have learned it earlier.
In my first semesters at university, I really struggled to get everything done.
Since then, I put a lot of hours and effort into learning about time management (= self-management) and it’s crazy how much is possible in the 24 hours daily.
Learn to understand people (communication)
Working in a team with different kind of people made me realize how important communication skills are.
Everything we sense (hear, see, smell…) gets interpreted by our brains based on our experiences. And everyone is different.
So communicating something important to another person is about finding the right way for them to receive it like I want to.
- clear words
- simple words
- structured
And of course, the attention of the other person also needs to be here.
Communication is one of the skills I think should be taught in school.
Learn finances
The same goes for finances. Nothing else is so important in this life in the 21st century: money.
Just basic strategies like:
- having a budget
- income should be higher than the expenses
- saving/investing for retirement
As I mentioned before: I would have loved to invest earlier if I had the knowledge.
Don’t stop learning
Never stop learning!
A lot of people think it just ends with university. And they do stop.
But that means they:
- don’t improve
- don’t expand their perspective
- don’t experience new things
- are stuck at the same knowledge level as when they left university
The world is moving forward.
If you don’t learn and improve, you will fall behind.
Travel (but don’t make debts for it)
I love to travel.
Experiencing new cultures is the best way to expand your perspective.
- so much great food
- so many delicious drinks
- so many awesome cultures and traditions
- so many nice people
All around the world.
So why did I add not to make debts for it?
Because you shouldn’t start your young life with debts, especially not for something that doesn’t have a future value.
Learn about finances instead and save for your dream vacation!
It’s gonna feel so much better!
Network and stay connected with people
Going to networking events for women was a game-changer for me.
Suddenly, there were so many more options because I saw role models and it gave me hope and motivation that I could do that too!
Find topics you are interested in and find conferences or events to join.
Don’t judge!
Guilty of doing that for a long time!
I got judged a lot as a child, and then I did the same to everyone else too.
But that also means I judged myself too. Nothing was right about my body, the way I used my time, how I behaved…
Don’t compare!
The same problem as the point before.
Because I judged everyone and myself, I also compared myself to everyone.
A big lesson I learned: only compare yourself to your former self!
Everyone is unique! You cannot compare apples with pears either!
So why are you trying to?
Start taking care of your body earlier
When we are young, we think we live forever and we’re gonna have energy forever. Even though I don’t feel the energy decrease yet, I know it’s gonna come.
Prevention is the best medicine.
Start taking care of your body when you are young, and you will have fewer problems later.
The same goes for your skincare.
You are not your parents or your past memories
Let go of the negative influences of your childhood.
Every person gets influenced by external factors as a child because that’s how we try to understand the world.
- parents
- environment
- culture
- religion
- teachers
But they all also have flaws and don’t know everything, so in your 20s, you can find your own values, and goals and change your beliefs.
I changed my mindset about being introverted. I had bad influences and they told me I’m not good enough because of my introversion.
Find your own way and beliefs!
Find your own definition of success
This is a continuation of the previous point.
Society (parents, teachers…) tells you as a child what success means. But you can actually find your own definition of it.
Don’t be afraid to be different
Let go of peer pressure!
I was afraid to be different and that’s the reason why it was so hard for me to change my profession after my quarter-life crisis.
Everyone has a different path in life and that’s a good thing!
Find your difference and embrace it!
Enjoy your youth
It’s not the goal to get into a job ASAP.
Ambitious young people think the goal is to get a well-paying job after university.
You still have enough time in your 30s to have a steady job.
Your 20s are here for you to explore the world and yourself.
Read!
The last point is a special but also cliche one.
You can also explore the world inside of books. There is so much knowledge out there and you can all read it in books (or online).
Great biographies tell you all about different lives. Their failures, their achievements, their challenges, and opportunities.
BONUS lesson: love! Do what feels good!
I had to add this lesson as well.
We tend to hide our feelings and emotions because we think they make us weak.
But you have the opportunity to feel love and embrace it for the first time in your 20s!
Trust your gut and follow your heart!
Do what feels good!
Conclusion
Life happens for you!
Whatever detours you make along the way you will find yourself. They are part of you.
The universe chose those detours for you because they are exactly what you need to grow, improve, and figure out what you want (or don’t want).
I wouldn’t change a thing about my 20s because it got me to where I am now, and I’m happy and really grateful.
I am right where I need to be, and I can’t wait for what amazing things and challenges will happen in the next century of my life.
