It’s not about money at all but the opposite
I always thought happiness comes when I:
- find love
- finish my degree
- marry
- am rich with a yacht and fancy house
- look pretty
Did you think the same way and were disappointed when something came true and you weren’t happy?
I blame ads and social media for these wrong expectations of happiness.
As a child, we saw an ad of a happy kid playing with a Barbie or Lego. And we thought we’d be happy when we got that for Christmas.
But as you all know, material things only make you happy for a limited time. I wouldn’t even say they make us happy; it’s more of a feeling of pleasure or satisfaction.
I’ll tell you I found what actually makes us happy: letting go of expectations.
Low expectations = no disappointment
Did you ever go on vacation with high expectations of the pretty city and the beach, having romantic dinners with your partner and relaxing with a good book, and then you’re disappointed because it wasn’t the way you expected it to be?
You have these high expectations, and you’re excited for weeks, but then it isn’t as good as you dreamed of.
I guess this happens to everyone.
Been there, done that, and don’t want to do it again.
Expectations can destroy the best moments of your life. A concert is still fun and exciting even though it doesn’t meet your high expectations. You can be disappointed by the big queues at the entrance, food and drink stands, and the wrong singing neighbor. But that’s how concerts are.
Instead of trying to fit it into your expected outcome, have fun and enjoy singing wrong too.
From movies, we have high expectations of love.
I’ll tell you an unpopular truth: Hollywood lied about love.
They only show you the good, fun, and interesting parts of a relationship. Because otherwise, the movie would be boring.
It’s like Instagram: it’s a highlight reel of the good moments of falling in love.
And then we have high expectations on the first date:
- they’re giving you romantic compliments
- they open the door for you
- they take your hand and look deeply in your eyes
- you both have the same goals in life
- you both have the same hobbies
- you both have the same expectations of what’s happening in the bedroom
All of those can come true on the first date, but then he is lying to you about something.
Love is not a feeling; it’s a verb.
The best part about a relationship is to have no expectations; you work on improving your love, and after a few years you have a strong connection, communication, and trust.
The expectations of Hollywood leave us with high expectations and not finding happiness.
So here’s what to do:
Let go!
I was (and sometimes still am) uptight. I want to be and look perfect. I’m looking for the best, overthink if it isn’t, and try to please everyone.
It’s a mindset I got from watching ads with top models, seeing rich people online, and not wanting to get mobbed again.
I want to please everyone so nobody can say anything bad about me.
Letting go is the opposite, and it’s what we need to be happy.
Instead of having expectations, trust the universe (or whatever you believe in) and let go of the outcome.
Instead of expecting love at first sight, let go of your need to find someone and just be yourself.
Enjoy the time with the other person!
If you have high expectations and try to be perfect, you’ll be disappointed most of the time. And you’ll miss happy moments.
In the summer, I was on vacation in Birmingham because my sister got her PhD. I didn’t have any expectations because it’s not a popular destination, and nobody said, “It’s so pretty there.”
And I was positively surprised, and we had a nice time. I was happy enjoying the moments with my family exploring the city and taking a trip to Warwick Castle, which offered more than we all expected.
Letting go of expectations like “it has to be that way” will set you free. You’re not imprisoned anymore; you’re in the present moment, and you can enjoy it.
It’s not the castle or the city that made my vacation in summer one of the happiest moments of my life, but:
Happiness comes from within
No person, no money, no fancy yacht, and no compliment for “being perfect” will actually make you happy.
You cannot change external things or people.
But you can change your inner world and your feelings.
Being in the present and enjoying it no matter the circumstances will set you free for happiness.
Without being content with your current situation in the present moment, you won’t be able to be happy.
The universe gives you what you radiate. If you let go of expectations and have a nice time in the present, you radiate happiness, and it’ll come back to you.
Being in the moment and spending time with loved ones or a hobby you love will give you more happiness than a yacht ever will.
You are in this moment. If you appreciate it and are here 100%, you can be happy daily.
Conclusion
Letting go of expectations, perfectionism, and any other external need you think will make you happy is the way to happiness.
Happiness comes from within. From you being here in this moment and accepting your life.
I’m not 100% healthy, rich or satisfied with my current job, but I’m happy. Because:
- I’m in this moment
- accepting what I chose to get here
- trust the universe
- and writing, which is one of the things I love to do
It’s a way of thinking. And not the bubbly, big smile when you buy yourself a fancy car.
Ask yourself those questions and find your happiness in you.
What are you grateful for today?
Are you content with what you have?
Do you have loved ones with whom you can spend time?
Do you have goals?
Are you excited about the future?
Are you present at this moment?
Less Stress. More Time. Less Overwhelmed!
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