What I learned in 2 years of leadership
Quiet, introverted people are still underestimated, and loud ones are getting preferred for promotions and, in general, as employees.
People tend to forget us, or it’s uncomfortable for them to speak with us quiet ones because they cannot comprehend us.
So there are some myths going around because people don’t get us. But what I learned as an introvert doing “extroverted” positions: I’m actually not bad at them.
But it was a long way for me to get to the point where I actually tried being a leader. I thought I would never be successful or lead because in school I always heard “speak more”, “speak louder”, “I’m giving you a grade less because you don’t speak”….
My skills were not appreciated, and everyone wanted me to be different. So I had the mindset that only extroverts can strive in this world.
But then, as the leader of a student organization for 2 years, I had to get out of my comfort zone and into the light of the extroverted world. It wasn’t easy, but I learned some important lessons, and I want to bust some myths about introversion for you:
Myth #1: Introverts are too quiet to lead
We are quiet, but the reason is that we listen and observe. Something extroverts are missing when they like to talk.
A leader shouldn’t have all the answers and doesn’t need to manage everything. Every person on the team has different skills and tasks, and it’s the leaders’ job to embrace and motivate them.
A big mistake introverted leaders can make is trying to be an extrovert because that’s what society tells them to do.
Instead, embrace your own skills, like listening and empathy, to lead in your own way.
Your team will appreciate the time to ask questions or embrace their own skills to find a solution instead of listening to their boss and getting micromanaged.
As the leader of a student organization with around 40 volunteer members, I didn’t want to be a fake extrovert but instead, improve my skills and my own version of leadership.
I listened, cared, and embraced taking the initiative and asking questions.
Myth #2: Introverts can’t handle public speaking
I remember the first presentation I had to do in middle school about a book I barely read. It was the worst feeling ever. The eyes of everyone on you and getting judged.
Unfortunately (or fortunately), it was not the last presentation I had to give.
Speaking in front of people will never be my favorite thing to do, but with all the practice I have now from more than a hundred presentations I gave, I got comfortable. Especially when talking about topics I’m interested in or about my project.
My secret weapon is preparation. Introverts love to prepare, plan, and organize. Preparation will give you more self-confidence.
We are not the ones just talking to say something because of the quietness. When we talk, it’s thoughtful. So we need to prepare our thoughts because we cannot prattle like extroverts in the moment.
Introverts don’t talk much, but when they do, it’s thoughtful and impactful, and that’s our advantage.
Myth #3: Introverts aren’t charismatic
Introverts don’t feel comfortable speaking in large group settings, and it can seem like we aren’t charismatic.
But it’s not something we are striving for — being charismatic. It seems fake to us.
We want deep connections and more intimate conversations. In one-on-one interactions, we shine and show our authentic, caring, empathic, and deep selves.
Those deep conversations are our superpower. We are not superficial or hollow. You can have real talks with us.
Leverage those one-on-one interactions and focus on them instead of trying to fit in large group settings.
At networking events, I’m looking for people to be there alone or in groups of two, and I talk with them instead of bigger groups.
If you are in a larger group, it will probably split up at some point because there are too many people talking, and then you can have a conversation with the person next to you.
The same tip goes for your work life. Instead of having meetings in larger groups, have conversations with individual employees (if that’s possible and useful). And if everyone needs to know what happened in the conversation (which is why we usually have meetings), you can recap it in a few sentences and write an email.
Conclusion
Introversion is a superpower!
Being an introvert is a unique advantage because most people are trying to be the loudest ones.
Your skills are unique. You just need to find the settings in which you can shine with them, like leading a team. It’s not just for extroverts.
As an introvert, you are actually a really good candidate to lead a team with skills in listening, calming, caring, and overthinking.
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