Do you also hate bad days or negative feelings?
Who else doesn’t like bad days or negative feelings?
Life is about the balance of the good and the bad, yin-yang.
I would love to be productive and useful 100% of the time I have. I would love to be perfect: have the perfect body, the perfect life…
But the good thing is: you are not perfect. Instead, you are unique.
Nature is not perfect. Life is not perfect.
So why are we trying to go against nature?
We want positivity and fun every day. To be happy every day. Unfortunately, that’s not how life works.
Currently, I would say I’m happy:
- I’m in a loving relationship
- I have a healthy family
- I have an interesting job
- I can write online and help people
But that doesn’t mean I’m happy 24/7. There are bad and good days.
- We also fight in a loving relationship.
- I’m not healthy every day (I turned 30 so the small issues are coming…)
- Some days, my job is stressful and exhausting
- Some days, I lack inspiration for my writing
Everything is balanced
Life and nature are in the balance of the good and the bad. And that’s a good thing. Because without the bad days, we would not appreciate the good ones.
If my happy days lasted for months, I would become bored and comfortable. I wouldn’t take any risks or try to grow anymore.
- We need night and day
- We need cold and hot weather
- We need the sun and the moon
- We need the four seasons
It’s the Yin-Yang balance of life. It’s the circle of life.
Animals are born, get fed, and grow up; then they can hunt on their own and kill other smaller animals to survive; they give birth to more animals, and at some point, they die and are the food for other animals.
Without death, we wouldn’t appreciate life.
Without bad days, we wouldn’t appreciate good days.
Without sickness, we wouldn’t appreciate health.
Did you ever hurt your ankle or foot and couldn’t walk properly? After it got better, weren’t you more excited that you could walk again, which you had never thought of before?
“I wept because I had no shoes, until I saw a man who had no feet.”
— Persion poet Sa’di
It’s not just about being grateful for what you have, but appreciating the good things when we have them, because we can lose them fast.
Accepting the balance
You can say now: Well, a man without feet has an unhappy and unbalanced life.
Can you live without feet?
I think so because you still have the rest of your body and brain.
We tend to focus on the negative things that are happening in our lives. We think it’s unfair and cruel.
You cannot change other people or your circumstances (like the man without feet), but what you can do is change your perspective.
Everything you sense (feel, see, smell, taste, hear) gets processed and interpreted by your brain. And you can change the interpretation.
Instead of complaining that the train is late (like a lot of people do), I accept it (because I cannot change it) and use the waiting time to listen to an interesting podcast.
Just like I don’t complain about being sick from time to time, the sun setting, someone dying, or stupid politicians.
That’s how life is, and I cannot change those things, but I can change how I react and how I’m feeling.
Accept the balance of good and bad and the things you cannot change, and you will find more serenity and happiness.
With that mindset shift, I can guarantee you, that you will have more good than bad times.
There’s no:
- growth without mistakes
- confidence without anxiety
- self-forgiveness without accountability
- learning without unlearning
Focus on the things you can change
What can you change?
You can change yourself and your interpretation of what is happening around you.
- You can change how you react to something.
- You can change the direction of your future life.
- You can change your habits.
- You can change your mindset.
- You can embrace the negative and make it into something positive
Without failing and making mistakes, you will not grow. Embrace the negative, do them more often, and see the positive change in yourself.
Confidence comes from acknowledging your anxiety and doing it anyway!
I didn’t like speaking in front of people, but I took the opportunity to practice it, and now I’m less nervous and more confident.
Conclusion
I thought happiness is about having positive days daily. I was wrong and this mindset kept me from being happy.
I thought everything needs to be perfect. I was wrong and I was always dissatisfied with my imperfect life.
Now I know the positive can’t happen without the negative. Without the bad days, I won’t know when I have a happy day.
Life and nature are balanced.
Now let’s focus on things we can change to let go of the need to control everything!
Less Stress. More Time. Less Overwhelmed!
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